The struggle is real!!!!

By Staci

The struggle is real!!!! And it is real to struggle. Struggle is (unfortunately) a part of life. Same thing for change. It can be a struggle to change. Habits can be hard to break. Just when you think you have conquered the habit or have made the change a part of your life…. you slip back into the “old ways”

Let me tell you a little story. I have been on a “new me” journey for a few years now. Ok… 5 years. I get going and doing well then something interferes. Most of the time it’s time that ruins my best-laid-plans. Or lack there of. This is especially true in the summer months.

This summer has been no exception. Time has become limited. Family vacations, weekend trips, holidays, etc. The list of excuses could go on and on. For the last month, I have completely abandoned the eating right and exercise thing. Ok, not completely but for the most part. I was still going to the gym 2 days a week instead of the usual 5-6. My workouts were only about half-effort, so they really don’t count.

I ate whatever I wanted. Lots and lots of ice cream. Bad idea since I’m lactose intolerant. But it is soooooo yummy! And it’s been HOT!!!!! And eating out a lot due to the heat. You know that “no desire to cook” thing. Throw in a camping trip and boom!

I was content with where I was in my journey for a bit. I was happy with where I was. Not at my goal, but happy. I could look in the mirror and not cringe at what I saw. I could stand on the scale and be ok with the number. I was happy with the way my clothes were fitting.

Not anymore! I gained about 10 pounds. Which is not the end of the world. What has happened is I have stopped liking the way I look again. I am no longer content with where I am. I look in the mirror and do not like what I see. Yes, this is all about me. As it should be. It’s my body, my life that I live with. I am making the change for ME! No one but ME! Me! Me! Me!

I’m not a selfish person or self-centered for the most part. But there comes a time when you realize that you are not happy and you need to make a change for yourself. When I start disliking me, my relationships start to suffer. I start looking to them for affirmation. Looking to them to fill a need for reassurance. For love. When that becomes the focus, to fill the gap in myself, it puts a strain on things. When I am happier and more self-assured, my relationships thrive. There is not the added strain of trying to fill gaps that cannot be filled.

So I am back on track. We have been to the gym 3 days so far this week and day 4 will be after work. I am working on eating better. It’s starting to cool down here so my desire to cook is returning.

Focus on yourself when you need to. Self-love is very important. Without it, you do not have the strength and energy to really, really focus on others. This is really difficult for those with children, especially moms. Find a way. Everyone will thank you for it.

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